Dick Huiras is the President of the Board of Directors for Adoption Support Advocates, an adoptee, adoptive parent, and successful business owner among other things. This is a brief overview of his adoption story.
The True Story of an Adoptee
I was born on May 17, 1943, in St. Paul, Minnesota. My biological mother and father were married, though, just not to each other. For eight months, my biological mother’s husband would not pay any attention to me because he was not the father. My biological mother knew this was not going to be a good environment for me and decided, after eight months, that I should be turned over to the Catholic Charities Adoption Agency. They took me in, sent me to a foster home and, then, sealed the records. As the adoptee, my past as a human at the age of eight months was locked along with my biological medical history and family history.
For all intent and purposes, my life started at the age of three years and two weeks when a wonderful couple wanted to give a forever home to a child and were willing to adopt what was known as an older child. Most adoptive families, at that time and, yet, today want a baby.
So, off to a small farm in southern Minnesota. Over the years, I realized I was the lucky one as it was a great life with two wonderful parents. I was told, as a very young lad, that I was adopted. However, my parents knew very little about my past and the families of my biological mother and father.
The adoption agency told my parents that my biological mother and father had the same financial background, which I later learned, was not the case. They revealed that my biological dad was a long haul truck driver of German decent and some other Scandinavian country. The adoption agency gave no information regarding my biological mother.
Through the years, my doctors kept asking me about my family’s medical background which was a blank page. I contacted the agency four times in an attempt to get my medical history. Each time the agency representative said, “Sorry those files are sealed and cannot be opened for any reason”.
At the age of thirty-five, I once, again, called the agency asking for my original birth certificate or, at least, my family’s medical history. By that time, there had been adoptees that took agencies to court and won! Now a precedent had been set that courts are giving orders to open adoptee records.
When I got in contact with my adoption agency, they were happy to send a letter to my biological mother and father informing them of my search. They both agreed to have the original birth certificate released. I, first, contacted my biological mother hoping she would fill in all the blanks. She had four other sons, three older and one younger then myself. Over a period of three months, we all agreed to meet at my biological mother’s home in Minnesota. The first meeting was a little stressful, no one really knew for sure just how much of the family’s secrets should be told. As time went on, the other four boys stopped communicating with me. My biological mother came to our home for a visit. That visit set the future in progress. My biological mother stated that she wanted to make up for the thirty-five years since she had given me up for adoption. I told her that was not necessary. I hoped that we would become very special and close friends as I already had a mom and dad. Needless to say, this connection was not going to evolve as communication faded very quickly.
Many years later, I decided I would search the internet and find my biological father’s side of the family. I still had not received medical information from that side. After much searching, I found a member of my biological father’s family. On this side, there were two bothers and three sisters. My wife and I traveled back to St. Paul, Minnesota to meet the other side. The experience was nothing short of amazing. There were instant bonds between myself and my brothers and sisters. We get together no less than once a year with the whole family.
My wife is unable to have a baby, and neither one us really felt the urge to have a child. We changed our minds, and, adopted a wonderful girl. Because of her I reached in, and pulled out what I never thought I had, and that is “DAD”. Our lives have been enhanced by her, and we do not know how we lived our lives without her.
Dick, his wife Jeanne, and their daughter Ali.